Here is a Beliefnet interview with Asma Gull Hasan, author of Why I am a Muslim. To me, her life seems to typify an unstable equilibrium between the two worlds of traditional Pakistan (insert random Muslim culture) and 21st century United States. She is not easily identified as a Muslim woman because she wears no head-scarf, let alone resembling a "Black-Moving-Object." But in some of her social mores, she is obviously rather conservative, and though very few Americans are virgins on their wedding day, she seems to be saying that this is an important thing to do if you are going to be a Muslim. Of course, there are American Christians who reject pre-marital sex, and walk the talk (this is important), but they are often perceived to be in an adverserial relationship with the mainstream culture. This is exactly what Asma is obviously not comfortable with-rather, that niche is taken up by the vocal minority of American Muslims who enforce the wearing of head-scarfs in social situations. Is pre-marital sex a necessary condition of being a modern American? Of course not, but, I am skeptical that most American families live in terror that it will get out in the community that their daughter or son has engaged in such activites (even if they espouse a contrary ideal). Americans do not live in such structured extended families where "honor" and "reputation" are codified, enforced and related in such a way that the behavior of individuals echoes throughout a social network. Asma Gull Hasan does not live in an extended family either, but the picture she paints of the assimilated American Muslim culture indicates that that sort of mentality has yet to be eroded by the atomizing impact of Western culture.