So where the bloody hell are you?

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The Australian Tourism Board has a new commercial out titled So where the bloody hell are you? At the link provided you have options to view the video, but, as a test I invite you to select the windows media or quicktime (not the “play” button) video and place the screen in the background so you can’t see the people and listen to the female voices and rank them in attractiveness. The second time please click the “play,” it will cover your full screen and you can check out what people look like see how closely your inferences by voice match reality.


  1. i’m putting this comment here not to bias perceptions, but the woman i’ve been spending the afternoon with while watching the above commercial unmpteen times was in the background while i ran this commercial. she’d seen the original commercial, but she mis-remembered the “turned on the lights” chick fatter, older and less attractive than she was because of her voice. as it is, you note she is singularly spectacular in visage.

  2. mmmm, moko dude

  3. wut?

  4. Hmmm, with more than 40 years of experience with accents like that, and a knowledge of what sort of phenotypes advertisers use, there was no cognitive dissonance for me … however, I did close my eyes the first time around just to enjoy the accents.

  5. “moko dude” (I assume pronounced like “MOH-koh DOO-day”) = Yanomamo expression meaning “ripe fruit” but referring to nubile hotties. Sounds great.

  6. Australian accent reminds me of the crocodile hunter and beer jokes.

  7. just me or was there an inverse correlation between hotness of voice and hotness of bodies/faces?

  8. Yes, I see what you mean about the woman with the unattractive voice but quite attractive face. However, otherwise the predictions from the voices were mainly correct. The one who ends the film by saying the title, and earlier mentions the “spot on the beach”, definitely seemed the hottest when I heard her voice (though without the video I didn’t realize it was the same woman) and has by far the hottest face (in my opinion). The woman who speaks first is very slightly more attractive vocally than visually, though there is not a huge disparity.

  9. Voice Rank: 1. “Beach Spot” / “Bloody Hell” 2. “Lights Out” 3. “Camel Shampoo” 4. “40,000 Years”  
    I cheated on the last one a bit because I inferred she was an aboriginal from the content of her line, and abos usually aren’t my thing.  
    Face Rank: 1. & 2. “Beach Spot” / “Bloody Hell” and “Lights Out” – It’s a close call. “Bloody” / “Beach” gets points for being more than half nude. 3. “Camel Shampoo” 4. “40,000 Years” 
    Side Notes: I wasn’t sure if the “Pool Sharks” voice was male or female without the visual cue (my sound system is not the tops). If female, it would rank last.  
    Can we do a ranking of male voices and faces from female readers? 
    Should we also point out that the composite Aussie lass has dark eyes and dark hair?

  10. Very interesting. I was surprised at how good I was at predicting attractiveness by listening to the voices.  
    Voice Rank: 1. “Beach Spot” / “Bloody Hell” 2. “Lights Out” 3. “40,000 Years” 4. “Camels” (I could barely understand this voice). 
    Visual Rank: 1. “Beach Spot” / “Bloody Hell” 2. “Lights Out” 3. “40,000 Years” 4. “Camels” 
    Side note: Marcus, you really found the camel shampoo woman better than the abo?

  11. Just to add a little balance to this so far sexist discussion: 
    Blokes – voice rating 
    bought you a beer – 4 
    sharks out of the pool – 6 
    roos off the green 3 
    bill’s on his way – 5 
    taxi’s waiting 2 
    dinner served 1 
    Blokes – Face rating 
    bought you a beer – 2 
    sharks out of the pool – 6 
    roos off the green 3 
    bill’s on his way – 5 
    taxi’s waiting 4 
    dinner served 1 
    The men are a lot less attractive, and there are more of them. Wouldn’t it be worth trying to market to women, or is that too much of a risk post Bradley Murdoch, Ivan Milat, Snowtown, Truro, Childers Backpackers, etc?