Is washed up 80s TV star Jan-Michael Vincent a Finnish adoptee? Note the similarity in appearance to “famous” Finn, Esa-Pekka Salonen. Suspiciously they both have hyphenated first names, and likely have had “grandfathers” who were made into cuckolds by Chinese sailors. Additionally, Vincent is a known drunk, a vice that Finns are all too familiar with. Raised by non-Suomi parents Vincent’s genotype was subject to a different norm of reaction than might be have been the case in Finland. With its suffocatingly introverted and maladjusted culture Vincent might have flourished as a withdrawn curiosity. As it is, in the glamor seeking non-Suomi cultural milieu of the United States he withered under a harsh glare which evolution in the cool northern climes did not prepare him for….