Jan-Michael Vincent, lost Finnish orphan?

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Is washed up 80s TV star Jan-Michael Vincent a Finnish adoptee? Note the similarity in appearance to “famous” Finn, Esa-Pekka Salonen. Suspiciously they both have hyphenated first names, and likely have had “grandfathers” who were made into cuckolds by Chinese sailors. Additionally, Vincent is a known drunk, a vice that Finns are all too familiar with. Raised by non-Suomi parents Vincent’s genotype was subject to a different norm of reaction than might be have been the case in Finland. With its suffocatingly introverted and maladjusted culture Vincent might have flourished as a withdrawn curiosity. As it is, in the glamor seeking non-Suomi cultural milieu of the United States he withered under a harsh glare which evolution in the cool northern climes did not prepare him for….

42 Comments

  1. Quite alot of attention to Finns lately. 
     
    The refined, well-dressed young man standing to the left within the square photograph looks perfectly russian or eastern european. He could even be a turk.

  2. Isn’t J-M’s chin much more prominent? Jan-Mikael could be Swedish, too.

  3. Quite alot of attention to Finns lately. 
     
    Yeah. I predict the next topic will be on the literary merits of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
     
    Don’t worry, we’ll nail the Dutch next. I hate the Dutch! Especially this paragon of Dutch male-volence: 
     
    http://hcgtv.com/media/xfiles/joran_van_der_sloot_cuffs.jpg 
     
    Seriously, the Finns are non Indo-Aryan speakers, which makes them a particularly interesting group to look at.

  4. the Finns are non Indo-Aryan speakers 
     
    so is any group outside of south asia :)

  5. also, this is only the the appetizer for my finn-baiting.

  6. Well, if I squint my eyes and look at the picture upside down in the dark, he almost looks like a Masaai warrior. Or a Neanderthal!  
     
    Speaking of which – what’s up with these Neanderthals?

  7. Speaking of which – what’s up with these Neanderthals? 
     
    They’re in Hokkaido. Or, perhaps, hiding amongst some North American Native Americans — somewhere in central or eastern Canada…. 
     
    Them’s my guesses. :)

  8. What I would very much like to see is some kind of a “double-blind study” to check whether you all Finn-watchers actually can tell Finns from Swedes or other Western Europeans.  
     
    It used to be said that you can always tell a Finn from his socks – but nowadays less so;)

  9. Death to the Finnfidels!

  10. CuriousFinn, 
     
    Don’t worry man. They’re all just jealous. :lol:  
     
    P.S. Although I like Finn baiting just as much as the next red-blooded heterosexual male, and maybe even more, I prefer Basque baiting and Khoisan kicking.

  11. BTW, was Huck Finn a Finn?

  12. What I would very much like to see is some kind of a “double-blind study” to check whether you all Finn-watchers actually can tell Finns from Swedes or other Western Europeans. 
     
    Piece o’ cake. You guys look funny. ;)

  13. OK, Finn-baiters, spot the Finns from this random sample I just made up: 
     
    http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bild:Press_kent.jpg 
     
    (fangirls ineligible to play)

  14. #1 or #4 from the left?

  15. One of them’s right. 
     
    No other guesses? I see lots of talk, but little Finn-spotting! ;)

  16. SourKraut wrote: 
    BTW, was Huck Finn a Finn? 
     
    Interesting that. Finn is an Irish lastname (surname), the Anglicization of Fionn, which so happens to mean ‘Blonde’?! 
    So to a Irish Gaelic speaker, a Fi(o)nn, mean a blonde.

  17. In the Kent pic #1 and #3 were Swedes, #2, #4 and #5 Finns. The lesson: Finn-spotting is not that easy! 
     
    Only a minority has very light blond hair like guy #4, but it’s not uncommon, either. My impression is that Southern Swedish blondes slightly more often have golden hair and bright blue eyes, whereas there are a few more Finnish blondes with whitish or silvery blond hair and light grey eyes. But of course dark or nondescript blondes and medium brown hair are most common in both countries. 
     
    Here’s a darker Finn blessed with the typical ‘potato nose’: 
    https://nyt.hs.fi/kuvat/iso_webkuva/1101978456287.jpeg 
     
    For successful Finn-spotting, you’ll want to observe their species-typical behavior as well: 
    http://org.utu.fi/harrastus/tyus/kausi03_04/kuvat/sell/tiimi.jpg 
     
    Some Saami-spotting for good measure: 
    http://www.angelit.net/bilder/galerie/bild7.html 
    Note that these two are sisters!

  18. windy, all that is necessary is that people can statistically differentiate a group of finns vs. non-finns (eg., swedes). perfect discernment isn’t necessary. your sample/test is a little too small to really determine that, though when i told my girlfriend i though 1 & 4 could be finnish, she was like “#4 is definitely finnish.”

  19. My guess (before looking at your answers — I swear I didn’t peek!) was that 2 & 4 were Finnish, 1, 3 & 5 Swedish. 
     
    #2 & 4 are obviously Finnish. You can practically see the bottles of Pohjan Poika sticking out of their back pockets! 
     
    #3 stands out like a sore thumb — no way he could be Finnish. #1 I wasn’t sure about — could’ve gone either way there. #5 — I would still swear he was Swedish rather than Finnish. Are you sure?! :p

  20. razib: all that is necessary is that people can statistically differentiate a group of finns vs. non-finns (eg., swedes). perfect discernment isn’t necessary. 
     
    Yeah, but can we, statistically? It would be interesting to try with a larger sample. 
     
    Theresa: If I’m not completely confused then #5 is Harri Mänty, one of the 3 Kent players with fully Finnish ancestry. But why not #3? There are nerds in Finland too. :) 
     
    your sample/test is a little too small to really determine that, though when i told my girlfriend i though 1 & 4 could be finnish, she was like “#4 is definitely finnish.” 
     
    He does have a bit of the same look as over-the-hill skijumper Nykänen: 
    http://ejournal.eduprojects.net/lip11/media/SB305/Matti.jpeg 
    so perhaps you’re onto something there. 
     
    But weren’t Finns expected to be, on average, round-faced and slightly darker than Swedes?? Now we’ve picked the long-faced or blonde ones instead. :o (yeah, yeah, small sample- but what characteristics should we use to guesstimate who’s a Finn and who’s not?) 
     
    And remember that about 10% of Swedish residents have recent Finnish background, and before that the Forest Finns migrated into Scandinavia the 16th century, and before that, who knows. So it’s all a bloody mess, now :) 
     
    Yes, there are still genetic differences between Finns and Swedes, but there´s also a discontinuity between W and E Finland, at least in Y-chromosomes: 
     
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=9545401&dopt=Abstract

  21. But why not #3? There are nerds in Finland too. :) 
     
    Yeah – I was trying to work out why I thought #3 was definitely not Finnish. I think I look at the build of a person (along with facial characteristics, etc.) when I play spot-a-Finn. :D  
     
    #3 is just too ‘slight’ (gracile) to be Finnish — not that there aren’t robust Swedes — but my impression is that there aren’t too many gracile Finns. Even nerdy Finns are more stocky (in bone structure) than that #3 guy — he could only be Swedish (or maybe Norwegian).

  22. Some Finnish nerds: 
     
    http://fcn.fi/kuva/1 
     
    Although these may be slightly more robust than the average nerd, since they’ve agreed to build a soccer team.

  23. J.M Vincent acknowledged on the the late Howard Stern radio show years ago that he is part American Indian. So we have AmerIndian Asian genes migrating east into North America and becoming part of a Euro-type and similar genes migrating west into the waistlands of far northern Europe, Finland. Hence some phenotypic similarity.

  24. “Waistlands”? Do you mean Oulu? :)

  25. Finn baiting, Basque bashing, Khoisan kicking are all fun. But, come to think of it, even more fun is midget bowling. That’s where you pick up a midget & throw him to knock over bowling pins. People, I kid you not. 
     
    But mind you, midget bowling is kinda like sex: You gotta get consent first, otherwise you’re liable to get a punch right into the balls. And I mean boaf of ‘em! And you’ll be screaming: 
     
    Awww, my balls! 
     
    Think of it, I mean you can’t just go around randomly tossin’ midgets. 
     
    Man, let me tell ya, midgets just love to get ya right in the nuts. Strange, but after centuries of research, nobody knows why?!? 
     
    Don’t get me wrong: I’m not in anyway whatsover suggesting that we should disrespect midgets, despite that classic song by Randy Newman called “Short people got no reason to live.”  
     
    Anyway, there is one way that we should be nice to them, i.e. in the locker rooms at the local gym: Always wear a towel after you shower, ’cause you’ll never know if you’re gonna run into a midget. Since their eyes & your goofy balls hang at the same level, they always scream in terror when you don’t wear a towel to cover up Fred & Barney:  
     
    Aww, my eyes!

  26. Some Finnish nerds: 
     
    http://fcn.fi/kuva/1
     
     
    I like the fat one. 
     
    Here are two more Finnish nerds, or Finnicular twins separated at birth: 
     
    http://www.worldhum.com/images/uploads/conano.jpg 
     
    And here is their tearful reunion: 
     
    http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/img/02-06/0215conan.jpg

  27. Remember the movie “The Vikings”. It starred Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, and Ernest Borgnine as the three main vikings. All three are Jews. No one seemed to mind or even notice.  
     
    Who would Hollywood cast as a typical Finn? Just about anyone I imagine, except perhaps Samuel T. Jackson. Every Caucasian population has some members who look like Arabs, Swedes, Finns or Irish. 
     
    But when they cast Woodie Strode as a Mongol in “Ghengis Knan”, that was too much. That was even worse than Robert Morley as the Chinese emperor or Stephen Boyd and Francoise Dorleac as Tartars.

  28. “Remember the movie “The Vikings”. It starred Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, and Ernest Borgnine as the three main vikings. All three are Jews. No one seemed to mind or even notice. 
    Who would Hollywood cast as a typical Finn? Just about anyone I imagine, except perhaps Samuel T. Jackson. Every Caucasian population has some members who look like Arabs, Swedes, Finns or Irish. 
    But when they cast Woodie Strode as a Mongol in “Ghengis Knan”, that was too much. That was even worse than Robert Morley as the Chinese emperor or Stephen Boyd and Francoise Dorleac as Tartars.” 
     
    Casting a white actor as a nonwhite (or even sort-of-nonwhite) character is completely taboo today. There’s no prohibition in the other direction, however; for example, J-Lo has played white characters and no one minds.

  29. Casting a white actor as a nonwhite (or even sort-of-nonwhite) character is completely taboo today. There’s no prohibition in the other direction, however; for example, J-Lo has played white characters and no one minds. 
     
    J-Lo’s supposed to be “non-white”? :) And wasn’t there a whole islandful of white folks in King Kong playing… uh…whatever those natives were supposed to be?

  30. “J-Lo’s supposed to be “non-white”?” 
     
    In the American racial scheme, yes. In fact she and, for example, Sammy Sosa are considered to be the same race.

  31. Casting a white actor as a nonwhite (or even sort-of-nonwhite) character is completely taboo today. 
     
    i don’t know, viggo mortensen (danish american) played a half-native american in hidalgo. so it depends. if the character is part white i think it is ok. of course, non-white actors get the weirdest roles. a few years ago a chinese american actor played mowgli, and eurasian actress kristen kreuk plays a punjabi muslim in a movie about partition (or eurasian actor keanu reeves plays buddha in little buddha).

  32. Keanu Reeves looks French or something like that. His sister, though, definitely looks eurasian. 
     
    Many S. Asians look caucasian too, but for skin tone, so I thought Keanu Reeves as an Indian was okay.

  33. of course, non-white actors get the weirdest roles. 
     
    The Indian dude as an Iraqi on Lost, also weird :)

  34.  
    The Indian dude as an Iraqi on Lost, also weird :)
     
     
    i think thatz OK. most iraqis i’ve met look white, but a lot of the people in southern iraq have had admixture with slaves from india and africa, so they are swarthier.

  35. The Indian dude as an Iraqi on Lost, also weird 
     
    That guy’s Indian? I thought he was an Arab! Man, you learn sumptin’ new everyday.

  36. “Don’t worry, we’ll nail the Dutch next. I hate the Dutch! Especially this paragon of Dutch male-volence”" 
     
    Let’s wait until the trial, shall we? I find the American attitudes toward a murder investigation a country which a per capita crime rate orders of magnitude below that of the US (I’m talking about Aruba here, not the Netherlands) a bit odd. 
     
    What exactly have ‘the Dutch’ done to you?

  37. Weirdest casting I’ve seen recently was Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and William Hurt as Philadelphia thugs in “A History of Violence.” All three are ultra-fair, yet the movie seemed to be implying that they were Mafia dudes, and they (at least Hurt and Harris) were talking and moving like characters on “The Sopranos.” Threw me out of the movie a bit. But maybe it was just one of David Cronenberg’s little arty stunts? Hard to tell. 
     
    On the other hand, I’ve rarely been bugged by oddball racial casting in the theater. I suppose I could be, if the evening were deliberately meant to be hyper-realistic. But you expect a lot of artificiality and game-playing at the theater. So a black Macbeth? Well, why not? It’s fine by me, and not for any PC reason, just because theater is artificial anyway. There’s a “why not?” quality about just about everything that’s on stage. In a movie (generally), people seem to need more physically-plausible types. Though the movies that get away with hyper-stylization are always fun to think about too…

  38. [Weirdest casting I've seen recently was Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and William Hurt as Philadelphia thugs in "A History of Violence." All three are ultra-fair, yet the movie seemed to be implying that they were Mafia dudes, and they (at least Hurt and Harris) were talking and moving like characters on "The Sopranos."] 
     
    Yet one of the most famous Mafia castings of all time was the relatively light James Caan as Sonny Corleone.

  39. Michael, Peter, 
     
    Just remember though, that before there were Italian Mafia, the equivalent were Irish thugs/gangsters – so maybe that what Cronenberg had in mind?? 
     
    It’s interesting with assimilation how a lot of both the boxers and gangsters, have gone from being Irish to Italian to Hispanic. 
    Here in New York though the Italian Mafia is seen as soft as compared to the Russian Mafia – many of whom are in fact Jews. While I just saw a documentary on criminals on the West Coast, and it said a gang whose roots are El Salvadoran, is sweeping the nation – 33 states so far – and 9 countries; the name MS 13
    They are the most violent and dangerous gang in history – be afraid, be very afraid!!!

  40. who are some well known Russian mafioso?

  41. Reach, 
     
    If I told you I’d have to kill you – law of omerta and all that – capice!

  42. “It’s interesting with assimilation how a lot of both the boxers and gangsters, have gone from being Irish to Italian to Hispanic.” 
     
    Many boxers now are Russian or Eastern European. They include two of the three current heavyweight champions of the various federations.

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