Comments on: The mediocrity of local peaks

By: darrenbk

darrenbk — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:09:52 +0000

It may be important that people move around alot.
I find it interesting that mindless gossip about Other extended families isn’t possible in Bangladesh. In my Mother’s family, a small new england town, my mother knows about just about every family in that town for 4 generations and will talk with her sister and sister-in-law for hours about who broke her hip, who’s kid got arrested, who’s marrying who, who had an affair, who went bankrupt, etc. In non-mobile places, other families can serve the same purpose as people inside the family.

By: razib

razib — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:25:12 +0000

og, you’re describing dyadic interactions. those are certainly easier to bargain yourself into a comfortable position….

By: ogunsiron

ogunsiron — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:18:00 +0000

I find that I have in general been able to find family that i could chat with about "serious" topics .

i don't talk to my stepdad often but when we do, after the usual family news we can easily slip into a conversation about various economico-social topics. I especially like to ask him what he thinks about various prospects for his country (a central african country ). We had those conversations even when i was a kid.

One of my favorite people to discuss with is my sister. We mostly talk about, once again, various socio/economico/politico topics . She thinks about things, for real and i appreciate that very much. The only problem is that she's basically a leftist : that can get annoying sometimes. I still enjoy the long , never ending discussions very much !

My younger brother is a special case. He loves to read *a lot* and is quite curious about many topics. Like one day we were talking about how the chinese were taking over africa and he gave me his impressions , from trips he took there and things he read . He's kind of a special case because he's actually learning disabled and has low IQ. He's very curious though and would go very far into investigating things, if only he could. Our conversations are more like me teaching him stuff , since he won't be coming up with many insights himself. But he likes to talk about non mundane things and that counts for something in my book . He was always like this, even as child .

I've had the pleasure of discussing some historical/social topics with my mother too. I suspect my mom is much more knowledgeable about things than she lets on. She sometimes surprises me .

Unfortunately i don't really have people who are into science , so i can never go really far in that direction with the people i mentionned.

My dad enjoys serious conversations. Unfortunately he brings a christian fundamentalist perspective that i was able to ignore when i was younger, but that became really, really annoying with the years , so i don't get much into discussions with him anymore.

I guess people in my family pretty much know that I have very little interest in regular chat. I won't be *rude* to chit chatters, but it's probably pretty obvious what i care about. Those who can't get into good conversations never get very close to me .

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:55:10 +0000

ah, ok. confused ;-)

I should be more careful when I use other people's computers. ;-)

By: razib

razib — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:43:25 +0000

ah, ok. confused ;-)

By: razib

razib — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:31:49 +0000

reihan only linked cuz i’m his 3rd cousin.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:31:47 +0000

Theresa on cousin marriage & corruption.

That's not me but, amusingly given the topic of this post, it is a family member -- one that I can usually talk to. ;-)

By: rob

rob — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:20:11 +0000

Razib,
Great post–and, good insight, I think! I’ve read about how extended families can act as a “tax” that reduces incentives on individuals to work hard.

It got linked to on andrew sullivan’s blog–congrats!

By: razib

razib — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:54:15 +0000

I have the option of one, two-hour trivial conversation with the nuclear family or several, 20-minute trival conversations with the extended family.

no, not really. people move. the problem with having a lot of cousins is that if you have enough you don't need any social circles outside of them. i assume you understand there might be a difference between a relationship/conversation you have with your parent and that you might have with a peer of your own age? or are the only friends you imagine people have are their parents and siblings?

By: Brent

Brent — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:25:31 +0000

“As family sizes shrink within a society I assume that the mind-numbing chatter which emerges from the social-networking of families will slowly diminish.”

No, it just concentrates it. I have the option of one, two-hour trivial conversation with the nuclear family or several, 20-minute trival conversations with the extended family.

By: j

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:57:09 +0000

What! Aram has bought as a 2008/2009 M3 coupe? WOW !!! That BMW features a high-revving V8 powerplant, tuned suspension, a six-speed manual transmission, a carbon fiber roof, and a V8 powerplant with TWO more cylinders than its predecessor, delivering 420 hp from 4.0 litters and maximum torque of 295 lb-ft at 3,900 rpm. In keeping with BMW’s high-revving “M” tradition, maximum engine speed is 8,300 rpm. The engine is the lightest V8 in the world, weighing less than the previous M3′s inline-six. Boy, I would like to have such a BMW ! Aram must be a real mensch!

By: Kurt9

Kurt9 — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:48:33 +0000

Its the same way for me when I visit family in Spokane. My brother-in-law is moderate left. His brother and friends are far left. I’m a hard-core libertarian. Yet, I seek these people out when I visit Spokane because they are the only people I can have a fulfilling conversation with.

Everyone else yaks about what their kids did in school or what their cat did and what not. I can’t handle this at all.

By: Peter

Peter — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:33:38 +0000

More than 20 years ago Paul Fussel's book Class noted that socializing primarily with relatives is a marker of lower socioeconomic class ("proles") in the United States. It's unlikely that much has changed since then, or that his findings don't apply in other countries too.

I will point out, however, that in the lower SES categories it may be easier to socialize primarily within one's extended family for the simple reason that the extended family is likely to be larger, and possibly less geographically dispersed.