The Sunday Post Magazine has an article about arranged marriages for American South Asians. For the non-South Asians at Gene Expression (there are must be at least 2 or 3 of us) it will be educational. My thoughts:
1. Says a meddling aunt “Character is something we can see a little better than youngsters do”. I don’t know if this justifies arranged marriages, but you must admit that most young people can be overly taken with superficial characteristics (beauty, charm) that mean little in the long run.
2. “Traditional Indians don’t expect a partner to be that improbable combination of soul mate/confidante/red-hot lover/best friend.” I’m starting to believe that the concept of a soul mate was a ploy designed to enrich divorce lawyers and self-help book authors. Seriously, finding your “soul mate” is like winning the lottery: It will be great if it happens, but don’t plan your retirement expecting a check from Ed MacMahon.
3. Vibha discusses frustration with trying to meet quality men in bars and clubs. That there is no general social structure to ease people into serious courtship and marriage is a serious social problem. The Internet might mitigate this problem somewhat, but this issue must be addressed. It’s appalling that an American woman would have to agree to an arranged marriage to get help from older, more experienced adults in meeting marriage-minded men.
4. This seems to be a happy ending for Vibha, but forgive me if I am a bit cynical about declarations of bliss from honeymooning newly weds. I wish them all the best, but I’ll believe it when they are still happy together in ten years.
Nonetheless, I shall leave it to the brown folks to comment more.
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