Friday, November 04, 2005

Vincent Gallo offers to sell his sperm   posted by TangoMan @ 11/04/2005 01:37:00 AM

Vincent Gallo, apparently unaware of the fact that guys are giving their sperm away for free, is offering to sell his seed for $1,000,000. He provides the details on his website:

If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. . . .If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. . . .Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. . . .Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

Well, that sure sounds appealing, doesn't it? Gallo seems to have cornered the market on eccentric sperm, so perhaps if Jodie Foster is in the market for something other than genius sperm, she can have her people call his people. As for that $500,000 natural insemination offer, maybe Deuce Bigolow can give him some tips on the man-whoring business.