The Victims of Competition Jim Caple at ESPN2 has an amusing tongue-in-cheek column about playground games and how they affect the self-esteem of the kids that play them:

A Santa Monica elementary school principal recently banned tag, saying the game can only be played under the strict supervision of physical education teachers and not at all during the lunch hour recess. That's due to: one, the risk of injury; and two, a "self-esteem issue," because whoever is "it" could be considered a "victim." "We had some children who were not playing 'it' appropriately," Franklin elementary principal Pat Samarge said, adding that "Little kids were coming in and saying, 'I don't like it.' Children weren't feeling good about it."

Caple moves in for the shot...

When you get right down to it, there isn't a competitive game in existence where there isn't a "loser," nor is there a physical activity that doesn't bear some risk of injury. Even coloring books carry dangers (think paper cuts).

Shoots...

It's better to avoid that whole mess by swaddling the kids in layers of protective fleece and flannel like Randy in "A Christmas Story," doping them to the gills with Ritalin, then tying them up inside a Nerf-padded room. They can entertain themselves by playing with their Game-Boy cartridges and listening to Eminem, which is all the little bastards really want to do anyway. Of course, when the kids are all so fat, lazy and sensitive that they have to pay for two seats on Southwest Airlines, we may have to take further appropriate action by suing someone.

Scores! I hope this isn't a widespread trend. I'm not sure exactly what the macro-level implications of systematically teaching kids to fear competition are, but I can't imagine that it bodes well in the long run, for the kids or humanity in general. Increases in risk-aversity so extreme that the possibility of failure is unacceptable under all circumstances can't be a *good* thing.